People keep asking me the same sweet, well-meaning question:
“Why don’t you talk in your videos?”
“You should do more face-to-camera.”
“Your voice would be powerful.”
And every time I think: black heart joker🃏
Oh honey.
I am using my voice...
Just not the way the algorithm expects.
I rarely speak on social media.
Not because I’m shy.
Not because I don’t have opinions.
(Not because I don’t have a LOT to say... have you met me?)
Speaking to camera feels like trying to juggle knives while someone shines a flashlight directly into my brain.
My thoughts scatter.
My sentences tangle.
Every word suddenly feels too big and too small at the same time.
I start thinking:
Is this coherent?
Is this important enough?
Am I explaining it right?
Why is my mouth doing that?
Wait, what was my point?
And then poof! The point is gone.
It's stressful for me, and there is a neurodivergent piece (aka: it’s not just me being weird)
There is actually some science here.
A lot of ADHD / neurodivergent brains struggle with:
working memory overload (holding ideas while forming sentences)
performance pressure (camera = instant self-consciousness spike)
verbal sequencing difficulties (thinking faster than speech)
executive function drag (organizing thoughts in real time)
So when you add:
camera + lighting + talking + “be inspiring” + tech + time pressure…
…it’s basically cognitive kickboxing.
So I found my own style with paint, a brush, and no words spoken.
Words hit different when I paint them.
When I paint words, something magical happens.
I get to:
distill
boil down
slice away the extra
leave only the truth
No filler.
No rambling.
No performance.
Just making art with words, loudly, but without voice.
It’s cleaner.
Stronger.
More honest.
Honestly?
More me.
My ideas land harder when they’re silent.
My Silence is still a voice.
We’ve been trained to think:
visibility = talking
leadership = being loud
authenticity = oversharing on video
But that’s influencer culture.
Not art.
Artists have always spoken sideways.
Through:
posters
zines
graffiti
songs
collages
banners
tarot cards
protest signs
No one asked Barbara Kruger to “speak on camera more.”
No one told punk bands to “share morning routines.”
They just made the thing.
And the thing spoke.
That’s my lineage
Also… can we talk about the music for a second?
Low-key confession:
Choosing music for my reels is my favorite part.
I have embarrassingly long playlists titled things like Women Make My Heart (listen on Apple Music)
Finding the perfect hook.
Syncing the beat to the cut.
Letting the drop land exactly when the message hits.
That’s storytelling too.
When someone comments
“OMG this song choice 🔥🔥🔥”
I feel seen in a very specific, nerdy, mixtape-making way.
It’s like you noticed the rhythm of my brain
So yeah, I don't talk on camera much...
But:
I write
I collage
I paint
I print
I design
I sequence music
I make decks and zines and upcycled books and journals.
My voice is everywhere.
It just doesn’t come out of my mouth.
It comes out of my hands.
Maybe this is permission for you too.
If you’ve been thinking:
“I should show up differently”
“I should talk more”
“I should be more camera-friendly”
Maybe not.
Maybe your voice is:
sewing
spreadsheets
organizing
coding
baking
memes
playlists
quiet care
or loud protest art
Not all voices are verbal.
Some of us are signal fires, or words painted on an enamel tray, not megaphones.
Anyway.
This is me using my voice.
Quietly.
AND Loud as hell.
— Alex