So stop trying to "do it right."
Stop trying to "be good."
The Good Girl Trap
I was raised in a culture where girls were expected to be people pleasers.
But I was also raised by an unapologetic feminist-artist mom and a progressively minded educator dad.
So my path through finding myself swung wildly back and forth like an drunk, anxious, pendulum.
It took me 50 years to get down to the marrow of my voice.
And here's what I've found along the way:
Trying to be "good" kept me from being an artist.
Trying to be "perfect" kept me from being an activist.
The Goal Posts Keep Moving (That's the Point)
The "good white woman" is a myth force-fed to us by the white, male, racist, capitalist power structure.
If they define who we can be, we stay in line.
And they keep moving the goal posts, don't they?
What was once "beautiful" (curvy, voluptuous, Marilyn) is now not beautiful.
BE THINNER!
But not too thin...
Have curves!
But only in the right places...
Be effortless!
But also put in the work...
Chasing their ideal is exhausting.
(And expensive.)
And that's the point.
To keep us chasing some unattainable ideal instead of dismantling their systems.
I'm Not Saying Anything New
I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before.
bell hooks said it.
Audre Lorde said it.
The Riot Grrrls screamed it.
I'm just saying it again, loudly, for the people in the back:
FUCK THAT NONSENSE.
I Will Be Messy
I will dress my RAGE, not my age.
(I have three looks, as Jenna Marbles sang in her infamous video: homeless man, 12-year-old boy, and a hooker.)
Currently I'm enjoying a return to my 90s-era goth/grunge/riot grrrl style.
Today's #DressYourRAGE look:
Thrifted Hot Topic skinny jeans
30-year-old Jameson's Irish Whiskey beanie I got on my first trip to Ireland
Power To The Survivors tee I got at the Epstein survivors press conference in DC in September 2025
I will NEVER SHUT UP about bringing abusers to justice.
I will dress my RAGE, not my age.
I will make messy, activist art.
And I welcome you to do the same.
Permission Structure
You don't need to wait until you're "good enough."
You don't need to have it all figured out.
You don't need perfect politics or perfect technique or the perfect aesthetic.
You just need to start.
Messy counts.
Angry counts.
Trying counts.
The perfect art does not exist.
The perfect activism does not exist.
But your voice? Imperfect, messy, furious, learning, trying?
That exists.
And it matters.
And you don't find your voice or your style with making messy steps along the way... if you're like me, anyway.