The Perfect Art Does Not Exist. The Perfect Activistm Does Not Exist.

So stop trying to "do it right."

Stop trying to "be good."

The Good Girl Trap

I was raised in a culture where girls were expected to be people pleasers.

But I was also raised by an unapologetic feminist-artist mom and a progressively minded educator dad.

So my path through finding myself swung wildly back and forth like an drunk, anxious, pendulum.

It took me 50 years to get down to the marrow of my voice.

And here's what I've found along the way:

Trying to be "good" kept me from being an artist.

Trying to be "perfect" kept me from being an activist.

The Goal Posts Keep Moving (That's the Point)

The "good white woman" is a myth force-fed to us by the white, male, racist, capitalist power structure.

If they define who we can be, we stay in line.

And they keep moving the goal posts, don't they?

What was once "beautiful" (curvy, voluptuous, Marilyn) is now not beautiful.
BE THINNER!
But not too thin...
Have curves!
But only in the right places...
Be effortless!
But also put in the work...

Chasing their ideal is exhausting.

(And expensive.)

And that's the point.

To keep us chasing some unattainable ideal instead of dismantling their systems.

I'm Not Saying Anything New

I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before.

bell hooks said it.
Audre Lorde said it.
The Riot Grrrls screamed it.

I'm just saying it again, loudly, for the people in the back:

FUCK THAT NONSENSE.

I Will Be Messy

I will dress my RAGE, not my age.

(I have three looks, as Jenna Marbles sang in her infamous video: homeless man, 12-year-old boy, and a hooker.)

Currently I'm enjoying a return to my 90s-era goth/grunge/riot grrrl style.

Today's #DressYourRAGE look:

• Thrifted Hot Topic skinny jeans

• 30-year-old Jameson's Irish Whiskey beanie I got on my first trip to Ireland

• Power To The Survivors tee I got at the Epstein survivors press conference in DC in September 2025

I will NEVER SHUT UP about bringing abusers to justice.

I will dress my RAGE, not my age.

I will make messy, activist art.

And I welcome you to do the same.

Permission Structure

You don't need to wait until you're "good enough."

You don't need to have it all figured out.

You don't need perfect politics or perfect technique or the perfect aesthetic.

You just need to start.

Messy counts.
Angry counts.
Trying counts.

The perfect art does not exist.

The perfect activism does not exist.

But your voice? Imperfect, messy, furious, learning, trying?

That exists.

And it matters.

And you don't find your voice or your style with making messy steps along the way... if you're like me, anyway.

Why I Don’t Use My Voice

People keep asking me the same sweet, well-meaning question:

“Why don’t you talk in your videos?”
“You should do more face-to-camera.”
“Your voice would be powerful.”

And every time I think: black heart joker🃏

Oh honey.
I am using my voice...

Just not the way the algorithm expects.

I rarely speak on social media.

Not because I’m shy.
Not because I don’t have opinions.
(Not because I don’t have a LOT to say... have you met me?)

Speaking to camera feels like trying to juggle knives while someone shines a flashlight directly into my brain.

My thoughts scatter.
My sentences tangle.
Every word suddenly feels too big and too small at the same time.

I start thinking:

• Is this coherent?

• Is this important enough?

• Am I explaining it right?

• Why is my mouth doing that?

• Wait, what was my point?

And then poof! The point is gone.

It's stressful for me, and there is a neurodivergent piece (aka: it’s not just me being weird)

There is actually some science here.

A lot of ADHD / neurodivergent brains struggle with:

• working memory overload (holding ideas while forming sentences)

• performance pressure (camera = instant self-consciousness spike)

• verbal sequencing difficulties (thinking faster than speech)

• executive function drag (organizing thoughts in real time)

So when you add:
camera + lighting + talking + “be inspiring” + tech + time pressure…

…it’s basically cognitive kickboxing.

So I found my own style with paint, a brush, and no words spoken.

Words hit different when I paint them.

When I paint words, something magical happens.

I get to:

distill
boil down
slice away the extra
leave only the truth

No filler.
No rambling.
No performance.

Just making art with words, loudly, but without voice.

It’s cleaner.
Stronger.
More honest.

Honestly?
More me.

My ideas land harder when they’re silent.

My Silence is still a voice.

We’ve been trained to think:

visibility = talking
leadership = being loud
authenticity = oversharing on video

But that’s influencer culture.
Not art.

Artists have always spoken sideways.

Through:

• posters

• zines

• graffiti

• songs

• collages

• banners

• tarot cards

• protest signs

No one asked Barbara Kruger to “speak on camera more.”
No one told punk bands to “share morning routines.”

They just made the thing.

And the thing spoke.

That’s my lineage

Also… can we talk about the music for a second?

Low-key confession:

Choosing music for my reels is my favorite part.

I have embarrassingly long playlists titled things like Women Make My Heart (listen on Apple Music)

Finding the perfect hook.
Syncing the beat to the cut.
Letting the drop land exactly when the message hits.

That’s storytelling too.

When someone comments
“OMG this song choice 🔥🔥🔥”

I feel seen in a very specific, nerdy, mixtape-making way.

It’s like you noticed the rhythm of my brain

So yeah, I don't talk on camera much...

But:

I write
I collage
I paint
I print
I design
I sequence music
I make decks and zines and upcycled books and journals.

My voice is everywhere.

It just doesn’t come out of my mouth.

It comes out of my hands.

Maybe this is permission for you too.

If you’ve been thinking:

“I should show up differently”
“I should talk more”
“I should be more camera-friendly”

Maybe not.

Maybe your voice is:

• sewing

• spreadsheets

• organizing

• coding

• baking

• memes

• playlists

• quiet care

• or loud protest art

Not all voices are verbal.

Some of us are signal fires, or words painted on an enamel tray, not megaphones.

Anyway.
This is me using my voice.
Quietly.
AND Loud as hell.

— Alex

2025 Artivist Dispatch

January 2025: This month in the U.S., the war on culture escalated:

Trump Purges the Kennedy Center
Trump fired board members and appointed himself chairman, vowing to make the Kennedy Center "great again" and attacking its drag performances. He also revived plans for an “American Heroes” Sculpture Garden, a thinly veiled attempt to glorify figures of his choosing. (Christopher Columbus? Really? CC was neither American, nor did he discover America.)

Meanwhile, the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) quietly revised its grant guidelines, prioritizing projects that align with Trump’s vision for America’s 250th anniversary.

Finally, the President’s Committee on the Arts and the Humanities—a major cultural advisory group—was disbanded.

But artists are fighting back.

Coney Island Artists vs. Big Money
In Coney Island, NYC, artists and organizers are resisting a proposed casino that threatens to destroy the historic neighborhood, the world famous Mermaid Parade, and displace its creative community. Follow @coney.island.usa for ways to support. Their website:

Guerrilla Girls Return
The legendary feminist art activists, Guerrilla Girls, have their first NYC gallery show in 10 years, calling out racism, sexism, and the continued erasure of marginalized artists. Their latest posters put The Art World on trial. (Yes, I was there—pic incoming of me in front of their ManifestA!) The show is still up at Hannah Traore Gallery in the Lower East Side: